"You really like cycling, don't you Dad?"

Went out Sunday for a good one-hour ride, tackled a few hills at first, then worked back on the bike trails. As I was getting ready to leave, Anna asked the above question. This is all kind of new to her, since I gave up serious riding maybe nine years ago, when she was about four; like I all but gave up neckties when she was about eight.

My answer, after some consideration, is that I really like the idea of bicycling. Whether I like the fact and act depends on the time of asking. If I reflect back on all my rides, it seems that my positive memories are all psychological, usually reflecting a sense of accomplishment at having survived a long ride; there are a few vague recollections of the wind in one's face and the exhiliration of being out on the road, the sounds of nature, etc. The camraderie. And a good meal at the end of long ride.

Nearly all my unpleasant memories are physical ones -- the pain of a long hill on a hot day, the realization that miles remain to be ridden, unremitting headwinds. Borderline despair. At this point the image of biking buddy Mark rises up, and what I see as his zestful embrace of the darker moments of riding. Riders like him, as far as I can understand it, view the worst parts as challenges to be overcome, whereas I've always seen them as matters to be avoided if possible, and, if not, ended as quickly as possible.

It has occurred to me that it may be my attitude that needs changing. I don't know if I've ever reached the point of all-out effort, and maybe it's something worth trying at this point in my life, ideally this summer in the century ride. I've been reading a book on procrastination and psychological coaching, in which the author suggests an analogy between a demanding physical challenge (in his example a marathon) and success in daily life. Maybe I can do that this summer, take the hills as challenges and accept them for what they are, rather than dreaming of life after the peak; maybe accepting the ride for what it is, and not counting down the miles until I can get off the damned bike. We'll see.