What's Ahead

"Switchback

turn, turn,
and again, hard-
scrabble
steep travel a-
head."

Gary Snyder, from Hitch Haiku.

I've made two relatively short rides since the last post. A few days back, late afternoon, rode to Middleton and out Airport Road to test out the start of the ride. But I didn't have a map or recall the course, so I simply rode out Airport for awhile, crested two good-sized hills, admired the view, and turned back toward town. I caught the tail end of good ol' Pleasant View Road, a part I'd never seen before (so many discoveries), so I followed that, a remnant country two-lane, still hanging onto its old nature, but with signs of civilization creeping ever in on it, mostly on the backside of urbanization.

The road rounded up toward a junction with Old Sauk Road, and an ancient white and tiny Lutheran Church, used, I understand, only for ceremonies now, not regularly. As I climbed the hill toward the junction, I noticed a tiny cemetery, maybe six or eight tombstones, off the side of the road. Someone is caring for it, but I couldn't help wonder about the souls there, no doubt placed when it was isolated lonely countryside, now more or less an urban afterthought. Anyway, I took Old Sauk into town, and back home, maybe 15 miles, but it was dinnertime after all.

That night I checked the map and the route. Next day, after dropping Daniel off at camp, I drove a detour and followed Airport out to the aptly named Enchanged Valley Road, a few more miles and hills out from Middleton. A remarkable little road, winding two-lane blacktop, past farms and country retreats and the slightest hint of an exclusive development, which appears to have been stalled by the economy. I drove past a herd of goats, and past a pair of horsewomen trotting along the highway, and caught Hiway P, which I followed to Cross Plains, then home on 14. Once again, a delightful discovery, and I determined to ride it soon. But weather and obligations kept rising up, and it got put off.

Until this morning.

I set out in a breezeless sunny dawn, got one mile out, just before the point of safe return, and realized I'd forgotten my ID and money; I debated briefly, then turned back -- if I'm going to have an accident while alone on country roads on my bicycle, I think I'd like whoever comes across my broken body to know who I am without undue delay; besides, I was envisioning breakfast or brunch in Cross Plains. Another couple miles added to the start. I deliberately rode down Mt. Nemesis, a delightful descent, and followed the bike trail under University Avenue and then parallel to it. The route then turned away from University, and I followed, past nice old lakefront houses, some really little more than gussied up cabins. I liked the new route, a back way across town, behind the busy streets. I was delighted to come upon "Baker Avenue", which I took as an omen. I knew I'd seen it before, from University, and thought I'd found its other end; but I was wrong.

Turns out the bike route was simply meant to move bikes away from the Avenue for a bit, and then I was dumped right back there, a few blocks further west after several blocks north, then south. Purty much a waste of time and energy, but I reminded myself I was in this for the ride, not the accomplishment, and there was no hurry. Then to Century Avenue, up a long hill, and out Airport, over those hills again, sweat dripping in my eyes (forgot the bandana, too). Stopped shortly after beginning Enchanted Valley Road, at a large isolated tree, where I stood and ate Gu and a few bites of a Clif bar, hearing Sherpa words in my ear, "take it easy, do it right, no hurry, at your own pace." I tipped my water bottle toward the image of Paul, and set out again. Pure country, almost heaven, as Mr. Denver might have sung. Past goats, cows, horses, cattails, a murky green-capped pond, sun warm but not hot, grasses and trees and wildflowers, a bit of strain, and gentling into a glorious long descent into calm flatness. As in Theodore Roethke, "The hill becomes the valley, and is still" (from The Right Thing).

Suddenly there was County Highway P, and the road to Cross Plains. And then, sooner than seemed right, I was in Cross Plains, a fairly unlovely little settlement, at least what I saw, gas stations and fast food, convenience stores; a school and houses; and then I was on Highway 14. I'd meant to continue on P, but what the hay. I went where I was headed.

And that was down 14, a busy undivided highway, cars and trucks whizzing past, the sun beginning to get hot, no shade, blotches of deceased wildlife marking the roadway, gravel and debris on the shoulder, mostly flat. Not pleasant, but tolerable and I averaged in the upper teens all the way into Middleton. I toyed with the idea of closing out the ride by climbing Nemesis but said the Hell with it, let him triumph for once, and rolled on home, 30 miles in about two and a half-hours, and feeling pretty damn good. A quick shower, and to the office to do some official work.

So, the dilemma remains. Can I do this Century? 30 to 50 miles I'm good, I handled the hills, but 100? Who knows? Neighbor Rob and I are planning a 50 miler this Sunday. Maybe then I'll know. Stay tuned.

The Light Ahead

Driving to work today I could, at times, barely see through the beating rain, despite my wipers going full blast. Made me glad I did a bit of riding yesterday afternoon, when the sky was blue and the temps in the low 80s. Basically my training route, though I went a bit further into the city; on the road back I took a road I'd seen but never followed, which climbed sharply up from the UW and vanished into trees. Eagle Heights, a campus housing development.

To get there I'd followed the trail along Lake Monona, past the Monona Terrace, past the shores lined with fishermen, mostly minority older men and kids, sitting on upturned buckets, watching lines that drifted with the faint breeze. I realized that shoreline fishing in Madison's lakes has become a, to use a socially-biased phrase, though I think appropriate, based on a cursory evaluation resting on appearances alone, a lower-class pursuit -- it's pretty clear that anyone with the wherewhithal goes "up north" to fish, or at least out on a boat. The same, I think, with swimming, at least to judge by the few people in the water or on the beaches at James Madison Park; those with money are in private pools or, again, out on their boats. Nothing like the Madison in the 1950 Life magazine story of idyllic middle-class bucolia. No more lakeside cabins or general store/bait shops.

A couple rants about people on that trail. First was the rider ambling slowly ahead of me, shirtless and helmetless, riding in the center of our lane, with a pair of dismantled fishing rods horizontal on his lap, sticking several inches out on either side. As I prepared to pass I tried to warn him, but he had earphones and didn't respond. Then I caught up with a middle-aged woman on a unicycle, with one kid on either side of her, both of them on unicycles, covering the entire lane and weaving across the center. I barely got past them. Once I had worked over to the Lake Mendota side of the isthmus, I rode past the Union Terrace and headed into the shaded Temin Lake Trail. At that point a young woman rider suddenly swooped past me on my left, so close that I nearly brushed into her. I thought about complaining, or maybe just commenting, but I gave it up when I saw that not only was she not wearing helmet, she was barely wearing anything but a long blonde ponytail, and had a tiny purse dangling from one wrist. Obviously the physical risks of cycling were the least of her interests.

Still, it reminded me of the vulnerability of cycling, in which one has no protection save a helmet. I recalled a few days earlier, when we had dropped off Anna at Northwestern U. in Evanston Ill. A cycling grand prix was taking place nearby, maybe 30 garishly-clad muscular cyclists of both genders circling a .9 mile route at high speed, bunching at the turns. As we came out of a restaurant, I saw a young woman limping along the sidewalk, stiff in her racing gear, one arm wrapped in an Ace bandage, ribbons of blood along one leg -- she had been in a pile-up a few moments before; and this, an obviously experienced young well-conditioned rider. She knew the risks, and knew, first-hand, the pain of miscalculation or dumb bad luck. It showed in her rigid walk and her mask of stoic indifference.

But I let it go, and concentrated on the smells of the lake, the warm shade, the breeze on my face, the irritated geese glaring as I rode by, the catttails and wildflowers, all the blessings that biking brings back into focus. One thing about cycling, it is all-encompassing while I do it; that can be pleasant, when things are going well, and a bit less than pleasant when I'm struggling to keep going, but the end is always the same, I am there and there only while I'm cycling. And that's a good thing, in either case.

I had planned to stop when I got to the base of the Eagle Heights hill, a la Sherpa Paul's advice, and refresh and reload, but I arrived too soon for that. So I charged ahead and was pleasantly surprised by the way it fell beneath me, the ease of which convincing me that, perhaps, I am getting stronger after all. I did pause at the top, relieved myself behind the trees, drank deep, and ate a tube of Gu. When I remounted I followed a sweeping blacktop along a ridge that paralled the lake. Once I got past the UW property, I found myself between a manicured golf course and a long line of fancy homes, many almost hidden behind huge trees and hillocks, all overlooking Lake Mendota. One house was for sale, and the realtor's sign said it all, "Historic and Luxury Lake Homes, LLC." This was the heart of Shorewood, the queen of NIMBY municipalities, where Volvos and Subarus sit in winding driveways, faded Gore and Kerrey bumper stickers, careful compost collections, immaculate lawns, strategically planned flower beds and rain gardens, wonderful views, the same place that refused to allow low-income housing within village limits. Social considerations aside, the road was wonderful, sweeping hills, no traffic, and ample shade. I ended up a lot further west than I had intended, and had to work my way back along busy University Avenue to where, as always, Mt. Nemesis lurked in sinister repose. I climbed it in the usual manner, dropping soon into lowest gear, pushing my hardest, gasping a bit, cursing it, but making it, and enjoying the fact that the few subsequent hills were of no consequence. And home, to see my sweat-drenched visage in the bathroom mirror, then to let the luxurious shower wash away the grime and stiffness.

While standing in the shower, I wondered about the upcoming Centurion. I didn't feel overly tired, but I was hot and glad to be done; and it had been only 18 miles. The hills had been manageable but still obstacles to be overcome (I recalled, with a self-directed smirk, how early on I had expected to climb Mt. Nemesis two or three times in succession once I "had my legs under me" -- but that's not likely to happen). I had hoped to lose about 20 pounds, but that didn't happen. I'd tried to pin my enthusiasm on Lance's comeback, but that didn't happen. And it probably didn't help that I watched the old movie, The Alamo, while on the treadmill, with its message that even the most gallant effort, even by Davy Crockett, even by John Wayne, is sometimes not enough to overcome the odds.

And so I find myself wondering if I'm up to this ride after all, still trying to determine which is the better part of valor, discretion or unheeding gallantry. Whether that's really a light at the end of the tunnel, or the flickering fade of an unreachable dream.

Stay tuned.

The Photo Not Shown

As I prepared to leave for my ride Saturday a.m., I had Anna take a photo of me, helmet at my side, lance Armstrong buzz covered with a red bandana, holding Rocinante and looking, I presumed, like I was ready to roll, with the bandana lending an air of piractical renegade attitude. I came across, instead, looking lumpy and dumpy, a guy at his garage door on a Summer Saturday morning, smiling moronically. So I lead with this photo of koi scrimmaging in a pond at the Omaha Zoo -- their bright colors and eager eyes suggesting, perhaps, the ambitious convergence of riders at the upcoming Centurion. And, perhaps equally reflecting oblivion to the travails that lie ahead.

The ride was nice, about 26 miles of local trails; I broke the 500 mile mark for the year. My comrade was my cross-the-street neighbor Rob, with whom I'd never ridden before -- I didn't even know he rode. He showed up with a fairly new Trek Hybrid, and assured me he hadn't ridden much and didn't yet feel hillworthy. We maintained a pretty good pace, rode down to Lake Monona, then backtracked to the Capital City trail, dumping off eventually on the streets of SW Madison. We had a pleasant ride, the day was sunny and not yet warm, we talked when we wanted and respected the silence when appropriate. Good companionship, and will probably do it again.

Robb was in better shape than he had let on, and I found myself keeping up comfortably, and even trailing a bit on a couple of the steeper grades. He showed me a back route that I'd never seen, a long and wondrous descent that ended up in a park and onto a trail, which led us effortlessly home. As we rode up one fairly long and steep hill, he led, and I found myself recalling the old adage that "unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes." I also recalled a recent discussion in Bicycling magazine, by a member of cycling group. It seems that one member of the group, always a middle-to-trailing member of the pack, had set out on a master conditioning program and was suddenly surging into the lead. The letter writer didn't resent that, but he did resent the resurgent rider's sudden hardcore/consescending attitude. The magazine editor tsk-tsked along with the writer, saying that some people are just jerks, especially after spending years of being taken less than seriously.

I tsked, too, but I must confess I also thought, however briefly and uncomfortably, that just once I want to be that guy, though of course a much more magnanimous and modest version, and I had entertained some delusions that my regular treadmill and riding regimen had put near that point. So, at some deep level, I wanted to leave Robb in the dust from time to time and magnanimously wait for him once in awhile, as I recall others doing for me on other rides. It didn't happen, of course, and the better part of me is glad it didn't, but still . . . . I'll have to settle for what I am, moderately good shape for 60 after 10 years of neglect, and filled with hope, as did the fish at the pond, that the heavens will smile on me and that succor will fall unbidden and undeserved, about me.

Let's Hope Beauty Is but Skin Deep

The picture represents how I feel sometimes at the end of a long ride, wrinkled and Gollum-like, with my ass dragging. Note the Lance Armstrong haircut.

I haven't been on a bike in more than a week; our recent trip to Omaha messed up my schedule, though I found it psychologically invigorating to talk with Mark and Paul about the upcoming Century. Not surprisingly, Paul, Sherpa-like, had studied the route map and could tell me far more about the roads in my neck of the woods than I know, even though I've ridden many of them and own a biking map. He also offered sound advice about pacing and the need to keep it all in perspective.

Mark and I had discussed riding in more general terms the night before, over beers, and came to the same general conclusion, though it was ironic indeed to hear him disparage the hardcore riders and their "$1500 bikes," when I know that his, too, is in that category. But I know what both meant -- all our rides together have been made with the intent of riding, not of accomplishment, which will probably be different than the goals of most riders in the Centurion. Again, I'm glad both are coming along, my yin and yang compatriots.

My last ride had been a good one, out Old Sauk Road to the Shoveler Sink, and then up to Mt. Horeb, returning primarily along the bike route. The ride began slowly, so slowly that I began to wonder if I were developing some sort of health condition that sapped my strength. But as I warmed up I got better. As I approached Mt. Horeb a number of riders, usually in pairs, passed going back toward Madison. A couple returned my half-waves, but most ignored me. I wondered why then, and, after my talk with Mark, I could presume it was because I was not sufficiently hard-core looking. Though I did have my new Cannondale gloves (black with white stripes along the fingers) and Specialized shoes and a serviceable Bell helmet; my jersey was Pearl Izumi, though simple solid green. It might have been my new mail-order Nashbar shorts, unstylish though luxuriously padded. Or because I had just completed a long climb and no doubt showed an unhip air of windedness. Or maybe they were just absorbed in their own shared experience. Or maybe I was simply expecting more. Or maybe Mark is making me paranoid.

Though not on the bike recently, I have been on the treadmill quite a bit. That's been an interesting experience -- I can tell I'm getting stronger because the same routine is less tiring everytime, though I sweat more. And I've experienced the same phenomenon as when I ride -- it's always harder at the beginning, and to look too far ahead is to intimidate myself. I've never really gotten over the notion that at some point riding will get "easy", as in nondemanding. But that will never happen, short of getting a motorcycle, and I realize now it never should -- bicycling without effort would be like watching a movie, interesting but nonengaging. And that's not why I'v chosen to do it.

A sidenote -- in scheduling an MRI for my left shoulder (apparently a noncycling related muscle tear that won't heal) I had to verify the status of the stent I had inserted after my heart attack. Turns out the attack was seven years ago this month, July 26, 2003. My near-death experience, which, as I recall, seemed quite mundane at the time, only annoying. No life pictures flashing before my eyes, no regrets, no last-second conversion, just the welcome relief from the crushing pain as the meds kicked in. "You understand what's happening?" the doctor asked, "you're having a major heart attack and we have to act now." "Yeah," I had replied, "just go ahead." And then a 24-hour blur. I guess I knew, to the extent any of us can know, that my time hadn't come yet.

The first year after the attack I worked hard on diet and exercise, but spent the next six years falling slowly off the wagon. Till this spring, when the cholesterol tests all came in bad, and I grew the wild hair that caused me to sign up for this Centurion ride.

But I am planning a ride this weekend, with my neighbor Rob, who, I discovered, has also been training for an upcoming century, albeit an informal, mostly flat, ride up north with a couple buddies. We've set aside 7 to 9:30 this Saturday morning, though Mei says, with a voice of experience, it will no doubt be longer. It'll be the first time I've had ride-long companionship since the last time the Three Amigos rode, sometime back in 2000, and therefore the first chance I've had to compare my conditioning with another. Stay tuned.

I never thought I'd end up smuggling rats

Here I sit on the deck of our third-story room, looking through leafy oaks and sharp-edged pines at the pale waters of Lake Minoqua, watching the morning sun trying to poke through the solid clouds, hoping for it to succeed. A monster rainstrom moved through about 8 p.m, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching the wind whipping the trees as sheets of water flew by -- all while I was beneath a secure roof. I could only wonder what it would be like to be camping out there, or maybe an early settler or Native American. Or on a bike. Cold and wet. Not my cup of tea.

I didn't bring the bike with us, having reserved the rack for Daniel's walker -- and reluctant to spend chunks of family vacation time away from family. But I did put in ten miles on the exercise bike downstairs, enough, I hope, for maintenance purposes. I certainly worked up a sweat, though much of it might have been due to watching the morning news. Of course I followed it with two waffles loaded with syrup, to nullify any possible calorie loss. But I hope fishing and wandering around will burn off some more. If the rain backs off, and we can get the kids away from their TV fix (since we have neither cable nor satellite at home, they are gorging on the stuff).

As for the rat-smuggling: Anna's two adult rats were never apparently never well socialized and have tendency to bite hard. Making them useless as pets -- and impossible to place. But because Anna especially is reluctant to convert them to snake food or have them put down, we've been desperate. My jokes about using them for "Muskie bait" fell on deaf and hostile ears. Enter Rhinelander Rat Rescue, a lady up there who takes in homeless, troubled rats. So via the wonders of the internet we set up an exchange this morning -- we smuggled the rats into this "pet-free" establishment and she is driving down this morning to pick them up. It all has a sort of clandestine feel to it, especially for Anna, who tends to feel guilty at any thing that even smacks of nefarious. In her code, "Aunt Bess" is coming to pick up "the cousins."

So keep all our fingers crossed. And if any law enforcement is monitoring this frequency, please be assured that "the package" is all legal.

Another Morning Run

It's been three days since I last rode, or walked the treadmill for that matter. Tomorrow we leave for a few days at a condo up at Lake Minocqua, sans bicycle. So it was imperative I get out this morning, before work. August 8 is not that far off, and will arrive whether I am ready or no.

Did the short version of my basic route, Mineral Point to Am Fam Children's Hospital, a brief sojourn through Shorewood Hills (Columbia Road), along Locust Drive to the trail, and along Old Middleton to it's intersection with Old Sauk -- and Mt. Nemesis. Then Ozark Ridge, Yellowstone, and home.

Nice beginning, by the time I got the bike going the sun had come up, and traffic was still very light. Smells of flowers and greenery, sound of the birds of course. My new shorts and gloves had arrived from Bike Nashbar, and all worked accoring to promise -- the shorts are nicely padded, and I didn't realize how nice that would be -- my old Trek shorts were never well padded, and what there was had seemed to thin over the years, in the same proportion, I think, of my personal thickening. The old gloves, also Trek, are old friends, nicely darkened palms, scented with sweat and sunscreen from years of riding, but the right palm has torn open. So their time has come.

As I drew closer to Nemesis, I could almost feel a heaviness growing in my legs, as though the hill were emanating its own gravitation -- or, more appropriately, I was generating my own psychological weight. I was reminded of what I see as a basic truth -- the external world is indifferent to my thoughts about it; the hill is the hill, whether I want to climb it or not, my resolution or determination is simply irrelevant, no matter how much I convince myself that I can define my relationship to it.

Anyway, I charged up it as best I could, did end up shifting to the lowest gear, but did it probably the fastest yet.

A sidenote about Nemesis. The city is widening Old Middleton Road, tearing out a lot of old trees to do so, and, irony of irony, largely doing so to put in a bike path. A lot of neighborhood squawking, of course, Madison being the queen of the NIMBY cities -- "bike trails are great, but NOT IN MY BACKYARD, I like the trees." I agree with both sides, the road as is is beautiful, but dangerous.

In any event, it's a done deal, and when it is a done path, Nemesis will probably lose its role as dominatrix of the bike route; I'm sure the route will extend past it, and it will be a side route rather than the main one. As George Harrison sang, "All things must pass away."

Not What I Expected

What I expected, was
Thunder, fighting,
Long Struggles with men
And climbing,
After continual straining
I should grow strong;
Then the rocks would shake,
And I rest long.

Stephen Spender, "What I Expected"



I found some of this this past weekend, especially the "climbing;" Sunday I went back to the Mt. Horeb area. I set out to do the Blue Mounds loop, a series of hills that will be in the August ride. The weather was pleasantly gray, promising to reach only the 70s. As I headed down Hiway 78 toward Black Earth, past farms and a roadside repair shop, I found myself on a long smooth, winding, sometimes steep, descent, including a sign warning trucks of the steep incline; I recalled that the ride will go up this road and decided I should maybe do it myself, that day. So I changed my plans and rode on to Black Earth, reaching up to 30 mph at times,turning over the 400 mile mark on my way there. The ride was pleasant and fast, the road wide, cutting between rock-ribbed hills, past a shetland pony farm and a side road with a sign pointing to the Vermon Lutheran church, somewhere in the hills. Black Earth was just beginning to stir, though the VFW park was busy, with folks preparing for their annual Father's Day BBQ. One young man greeted me with "Beautiful day, hey? Perfect for Father's Day." "Yeah," I replied, "Good day to get away from the kids." He chuckled uneasily, but another, older, man laughed, with shared, good-natured, cynicism. But no one offered me a sample of the feast.

So I settled back with a Clif bar and some rehydration, and soon set back on my climb.

The first part of the return went remarkably smoothly, I clipped along, admiring the green hills against the sky, which had become pale blue with specks of cloud. No other cyclists, just spotty jetsam -- a few remnant route markers from the previous day's Horribly Hilly Hundreds event; a sign announcing an impending barn dance; a spot of unindentifable roadkill; flecks of gravel and chips of asphalt, the sort of things one never sees from a car.

I decided to stop at the church cut-off to take my last tube of Gu, in preparation for the final ascent. The cut-off road was gray, narrow, pocked, and steep, lined with woodlands on both sides. Seemed an invitation to explore, so I went thataway. And I expected that the churchyard might be a place of spiritual rejuvenation and recharge before the charge to the summit.

Things were not as I expected.

That portion of the trip began with an incredibly steep hill, and, despite my desperate thrust on the pedals, for the first time this spring, I had to stop. Either that or fall over, since I'd lost all momentum. I told myself it was a matter of overoptimism and underestimation, but I found myself doubting. I checked the tires in hopes that a flat would excuse this -- but they were firm. So I walked the last hundred or so feet to the crest, remounted, and visited the churchyard, which turned out to be under constuction, all dirt and equipment, no easily accessible green spot, not even a handy bench. Not what I expected. So I stood and refreshed, and turned back toward the main road. A cyclist appeared from that direction, moving at a good clip; I refrained from asking him if he found that first hill daunting, but I didn't. Because I didn't want to know the answer.

Then back to the road and upward. The grade steepened, a turkey vulture circled ominiously over the nearby hills. A small dead fawn stared blank-eyed from the verge. As I climbed the sweat built up on my brow, and began trickling into my eyes. Back to Spender's poem, I was beginning to find, I feared, "the gradual day/Weakening the will."

A sidenote here. The day before I had gone to my barbershop with a photo of Lance Armstrong, and told her to cut my hair just like that. And she did (you'd think maybe she'd have tried to talk me out of it). I'm not sure what I expected. I know I was tired of having my hair plastered to my forehead after a hot ride, and tired of trying to keep it reasonably under control at other times, only to end up like Einstein on a bad day.

One thing certain, I didn't come out looking like Lance, I looked like me with a buzz, maybe what Lance might look like if he were 30 years older, shorter and pudgier and with different ancestry. I also didn't expect that the lack of hair would mean less to hold back the beads of sweat. But that was what I got with, I feared, none of his iron-will. I wanted, I confess, to look a bit like Lance; I ended up looking like his maternal grandfather. And my eyes burned.

But something good did happen on this ride -- before I realized it, I had reached the top, and had energy to spare after all. Maybe I am "growing strong," after all. At least a bit. I rolled on into town, and added another ten miles of spinning at high speed, through Mt. Horeb and nearly to Blue Mounds, then back to the Mt. on the bike trail, mostly alone on the hard-packed dirt, with just an occasional chipmunk dashing in front of me, and one angry-looking woodchuck who glared as I rolled by. Thirty more miles. Not sure what I accomplished, though the lingering images of the previous two hours did provide me with, Spender once again, "[s]ome brightness to hold in trust."

Note, by the way, that Spender's hair is nothing like Lance's, but then I bet he never did the Tour.